Pie
by keru.m
Summary: Harm gets a visit at work from two of his favorite people.


Disclaimer: Don't own'em.

A/N: This one is for doc – a mini-Mac flustering Harm, as requested. Let's all pretend that the Admiral is still around, and Harm is stationed at JAG.

--

**Pie**

"Caitlyn, Sweetheart." Mac looked at the four-year old skipping beside her. "Do you want to hold Mommy's hand while we get on the elevator?"

"Okay." Caitlyn slipped her hand into Mac's as the elevator doors opened. Once they entered, Mac watched as Caitlyn glanced at the button panel and then looked up at her.

"Mommy! Can I press the button? Please?" Katie asked excitedly, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"_May_ I press the button?" Mac automatically corrected.

"May I, Mommy? Please can I?" By now, Katie was jumping up and down with anticipation.

"Or course you may, Sweetie. It's this one, number _four._" Mac decided to let the grammatical slip pass, and pointed out the right button to Katie. Harm teased her relentlessly about making Katie speak his grandmother's English. She tried to explain how kids picked up languages early and multilingualism would benefit her later, which was why she also sometimes spoke to Katie in Farsi and Russian. Harm, the eternal philistine, would just roll his eyes and launch into his very unique rendition of Rapper's Delight. So now their kid spoke proper English, a smattering of Russian and Farsi, and was well-versed in American slang, circa 1970s.

"That's how old I am! Four!" Katie jabbed at the button and grinned as it lit up. "Look! I lighted up the button!"

"That's right! You lit the button. Good job!" Mac brushed a curl away from Katie's forehead, smiling at her exuberance.

Once the elevator began ascending, Mac knelt in front of her daughter. She sincerely hoped this visit to JAG would run more smoothly than the last time; but seeing the ever-present mischievous glint in Caitlyn's eyes made Mac seriously doubt that it would.

"Now, Katie," Mac waited until she had Caitlyn's full attention. "Do you remember the rules for visiting Daddy at the office?"

Katie hopped excitedly from one foot to the other. "Yes! Oh, Mommy! Guess what? I learned a new song at daycare!" Mac bit back a sigh. This kid had to hold some kind of record for the shortest attention span ever. "Mommy! Do you want to hear it?"

"Sure I do, Sweetheart," Mac quickly cut in to keep Katie from spontaneously bursting into song, as she had a habit of doing. "But first I want you to tell me what the rules are for visiting Daddy at the office."

"Okay!" Katie happily skipped in place and clapped her hands together.

Mac waited, but the changing numbers above the elevator door had caught Katie's attention. She began counting out loud. "One!"

"Caitlyn." Mac attempted to regain her daughter's attention. "Can you repeat the rules for me, please."

"Okay! Umm ..." Katie frowned, adopting a look of concentration that was, in Mac's opinion, all Harm.

"Indoor voice only." She began, looking to her mother for approval.

"Good girl. What else?" Mac prompted.

"And ... umm ... No running ..."

"Very good!" Mac encouraged. "And?"

"And ... No ... no colouring on Daddy's paper."

Mac nodded. Katie's artistic talent aside, a legal brief was no place for doodles of what was supposed to be a green plane with an eagle's beak and an anchor dangling from the wing. "What else?"

"... umm ... No playing under Uncle Bud's desk ..." Katie's frown deepened, as she tried to remember the rest. Mac waited patiently, knowing that it got a little harder each time, since they had to add new rules after each visit.

"Oh! I know!" Katie exclaimed. "No putting pens in Uncle Sur--, Uncle Stuhg--, Uncle—"

"Sturgis," Mac enunciated. It caused her and Harm no end of amusement to see Katie struggle with Sturgis' name. She hadn't given up on saying it yet, though, Mac thought proudly. She was just as perseverant as her dad.

"Yeah!" Katie bounced on her heels. "Sah-gess! No putting pens in Uncle S-ssah-gess's coffee."

"What else, Sweetie?"

Katie jumped a couple of times, out of excitement. "No, ah, no, no ..."

Mac bit back her grin: whenever Katie got worked up about something, her words were the first casualty. Another trait she told Harm he shared with his daughter. He vehemently denied it.

"No ..." Mac prompted.

"No fall-wing the Ad'mal into his office."

"Or ..."

"Or into the bake room."

"Good girl. What else?"

"No, ah, ans-ssin-ing the Ad'mal's phone."

"Excellent. There's one more rule, remember, from last time?"

"No opening doors." Katie looked at the numbers above the elevator doors, her attention once again drifting. Mac was surprised she'd lasted this long. Excitement – and visiting Harm at work definitely caused that - shortened her already limited attention span. Another trait in common with her dad. Harm vehemently denied this, too.

Mac raised an expectant eyebrow, infusing a little sternness in her tone. "Caitlyn. What's the rest of the rule?"

Katie looked at her shoes and then, reluctantly, at Mac. "No opening doors," she said sullenly, "Even if Daddy's inside."

"Excellent, Katie!" She kissed Katie on the nose, prompting a series of giggles. She doubted anyone would ever let Harm forget how Katie had burst into court while it was still in session, in order to show him her new pink shoes. Mac knew he still got teased about it. Hell, she still teased him about it. She also knew Katie had been more than a little frightened when the judge had banged his gavel and called for order.

"That's my Sweetie Pie." Mac rubbed her nose against Katie's.

Katie giggled again. "I'm not pie! I'm kiddo!"

Mac's grin stretched from ear to ear. Katie really loved the nickname Harm used on her. She was her daddy's girl through-and-through.

"You aren't a pie?" Mac put on a look of exaggerated confusion.

"No!" Katie enthusiastically lifted up her shirt to reveal her belly button. "See!" She pointed. "You can't eat me!"

"Oh, no!" Mac feigned disappointment. "But you're sweet as pie!" Mac lightly tickled Katie's sides. "Can I have a tiny taste?" She leaned forward and blew raspberries on the exposed tummy.

Katie burst into a fit of giggles, and doubled over to keep Mac from repeating the action.

Mac stood up and straightened her clothes just as the elevator dinged to announce their floor.

"Now, Caitlyn: you behave in there. Go find Daddy while Mommy talks to Uncle Sturgis, okay?"

Mac didn't get a response as the elevator doors opened and Katie zoomed out at full speed, towards the bullpen.

"DADDY!"

"Katie! Indoor voice! And no running!" Mac rolled her eyes and sighed. That kid had definitely inherited her father's impatience.

--

Harm stood at the fax machine, and cursed it for making his life miserable. As it was, he was having a horrible day. He'd lost one case this morning, found out a star witness in another was lying, and he'd gotten a speeding ticket on his way into work. And to add insult to injury, the damn relic of a fax machine kept eating his papers. He was going to bury it by the parking lot if it didn't start cooperating soon. Stupid piece of sh-

His dark thoughts immediately disappeared when he heard a tiny squeal come from the entrance to the bullpen.

He turned and saw his very own four-year old bundle of joy rocket around the desks and race towards him.

"Daddy!"

Harm swooped Katie up as she jumped into him.

"Hey there, Kiddo! How's my girl doing?" He swung her in the air before enveloping her in a bear hug.

"I'm pie!" Katie twisted out of his embrace and clapped her hands triumphantly, grinning widely at Harm.

He raised an eyebrow, confused and amused.

"'You're pie?"

Katie nodded vigorously. "Pie! Seet-ee pie!" She squirmed in Harm's arms and lifted up her shirt. "See!" She pointed to her belly button.

He heard the indulgent chuckles coming from nearby coworkers. Ever since her first visit as a newborn, Harm and Mac's daughter had all of JAG Ops wrapped around her little finger.

Katie looked up at Harm, her brown eyes waiting for his approval. She reminded him so much of Mac, he thought his heart would burst. He tried giving Katie another tight hug, but she was busy trying to pull Harm's uniform shirt out of his pants.

"Katie! What're you doing?" He attempted to take hold of her hands, a difficult task since he was still holding her and she was squirming relentlessly.

"Are you pie too, Daddy?" she asked as she grabbed one of the lower buttons in her tiny fist. Satisfied, she tugged.

Harm hastily managed to loosen her grasp on his clothes. He held her at arm's length, her legs dangling in the air while she persevered in trying to get a hold of his shirt. "Katie! You can't un-tuck daddy's uniform!"

She stopped squirming and, dangling limply from his outstretched arms, lifted her eyebrow in confusion.

"Why?" She asked, genuinely curious.

"Because it's rude, young lady." He gave her his most stern father-knows-best look. "Remember when we talked about manners?"

"Yes..." she stretched the word, scepticism evident in her voice. Her face was scrunched into a massive frown as she questioned his wisdom. She was definitely all Mac, Harm thought wryly.

"It is bad manners to un-tuck other people's clothes," he told her in his no-nonsense tone. He was still perfecting this particular tone, and it didn't quite work on Caitlyn's mother. But Harm held hope for the next generation.

"Why, Daddy?"

Harm stared at Katie. All Mac; she was definitely all Mac.

"Because ... ah ..." How was he supposed to explain the finer point of social mores to a four year old? He searched the ceiling for answers. Somewhere between the light fixture and the fire alarm, inspiration struck.

"Because people choose to wear clothes and it's not nice to take away that choice."

Katie stared at him, still frowning. So maybe his answer wasn't all that inspired. He mirrored Katie's frown.

Where the hell was Mac? Harm looked over Katie's shoulder – she was still hanging from his outstretched arms – but couldn't locate his wife, mother of his child. She should be here, mothering, for god's sake. And wife-ing.

He brought Katie back to him and held her against his hip. His girl was getting mighty heavy. The thought saddened him. He wasn't ready for her to grow up. He remembered sitting next to Mac on the hospital bed, watching his wife hold their daughter for the first time. Katie had taken hold of his finger in her much tinier ones. They had felt so soft and tiny around his. She had looked up at him with large eyes, bursting with curiosity and wonder, trying to absorb in one day what they had a lifetime to take in. He'd recognized Mac in those eyes. The realization had him burying his nose in Mac's hair, struggling to calm the sudden elation that'd brought tears to his eyes.

"Daddy!"

Harm snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Katie who was wiggling about in his arms. She shook his shoulder, exasperated by his inattention. Harm grinned. He now had two women who gave him the exact same look of exasperation on a regular basis. He'd tried to get them both to give him that look at the same time, just to see what it'd feel like. He'd been unsuccessful, so far.

"Daddy!" Katie tugged at his sleeve. "Why do peep-el wear clothes? Can I see your belly button? Are you pie, too? Can I see?"

Harm searched the bullpen again, studiously avoiding his coworkers' amused looks. Where the hell was Mac?

Wherever she was, she was obviously shirking her motherly and wifely duties. He looked down warily at Katie. How was he supposed to answer her?

"You remember when Mommy and I talked to you about why you can't take off your clothes in public? Outside the house?" The memory of Katie undressing by the water fountain at the mall still mortified him. Mac had gotten a real kick out of it. Too much of a kick – it wasn't that funny. He'd spent the better part of the next week reiterating the importance of not taking off any clothes ever again, ever, especially not in front of boys, to his daughter. Mac had been no help at all. She'd just grinned away and told him Katie was only four. As if that made any kind of difference. Four was an impressionable age; he had to take advantage of that and teach her the important stuff now.

Katie nodded slowly, her face still scrunched up in an adorable frown. He broke out into an involuntary grin. She had to be the cutest kid ever born. After all, she looked just like her mother.

"Well, just like that, you can't take off other people's clothes," he said gently.

Harm watched Kaitlyn brighten as she put the pieces together, and felt satisfied beyond reason. He was getting the hand of this parenting thing. Granted, four years wasn't the steepest of learning curves. He finally caught Mac's eye as she crossed the bullpen towards him. His grin widened and she returned his smile with one equally bright. Harm sighed happily. This was shaping up to be a great day.

"Oh!" Katie squealed, effectively re-gaining Harm's attention. She looked up at him and clapped her hands excitedly. "So it's bad manners to take off peep-el's clothes outside? In pa-puh," she struggled to remember the word Harm had just used. "Pahb-lic?" She grinned at Harm.

"That's right, kiddo." Harm swelled with fatherly pride, both towards Katie for understanding and himself for helping her understand.

"Daddy!" She exclaimed. "Is that why you take off Mommy's clothes at home?!" Katie asked loudly. Very loudly. Loudly enough for half the bullpen to hear.

Harm's mouth fell open in shock. That was not what ... He didn't ... He never meant ... But how did she ... When did-

Where the hell was Mac? He needed Mac.

Mac was going to kill him.

No, worse still, Mac was going to tease him about this for as long as he lived.

Harm slowly looked up at Mac, who was standing a few feet away.

She'd stopped mid-stride and was staring at him, her face frozen in a mask of surprise. Oh, god. He was in for it now. It was then that he noticed the sudden silence in the bullpen. Oh, god. Had Katie really been that loud?

He felt the heat rise to his face, and Harm wondered how many laws of physics he'd have to break at this precise moment to be able to sink right through the floor. At least he now knew the upper limit embarrassment could reach.

"Admiral on deck!" Someone's voice rang out.

"As you were." The familiar reply rang out from right behind him. The Admiral's amusement was evident in his tone.

Harm closed his eyes. Okay, _now_ he knew the upper most level embarrassment could reach.

"Ad'mal!" Katie cried happily. She lunged out of Harm's arms and towards the Admiral who, thankfully, caught her. Harm didn't think he could move if he tried.

"How're you doing, Pup?" The Admiral took great pleasure in calling Katie a baby seal in endearment. Harm hadn't been too pleased at first – the thought of his sweet baby going hand-to-hand at recess kept him awake some nights – but Mac had told him he was being an idiot; after all, _he_ was the one who'd married a Marine. He tried to tell her it was different: this was their daughter they were talking about. His little girl. His baby.

'Harm. She'll grow up one day, go off into the world to find her way. It's our job to make sure she can take care of herself and that she knows she can always count on us.'

Those had been Mac's exact words.

'Like hell she will' had been his exact response. Then he'd sulked and brooded, refusing to think about such horrendous things as his little Katie going off into the big, unforgiving world.

'Alright, Harm. We'll lock her up in the tallest tower we can find and take turns standing guard. Would you prefer the morning watch?'

He'd glared at her knowing full well he was being unreasonable, and not appreciating that she would point it out to him with all the subtlety of a root canal.

"Ad'mal!" Katie squealed again, pulling Harm away from his dark thoughts. "I learned a new song at daycare. You wanna hear?" She didn't wait for an answer. "Standing ow-side wid' my moud open wiiiide. Ah-ah-ah—ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-aaaaaa; faaaalll the la la le-laa la la la laaaa laaaaa ..." She trailed off, grinning at the Admiral. "I don' know all the words yet. Do you like it? I can teach you! It's not hard. I taught daddy! He doesn't know all the words. Mommy does! She can sing it, too. You wanna hear Mommy sing it?" She jabbered excitedly, all the while bouncing up and down in the Admiral's arms.

Chegwidden laughed heartily. "That's a great song, Katie! Tell me, little pup, are you giving your dad a hard time?"

"No!"She cried excitedly. "I'm pie. See!" She lifted her shirt to show him.

Harm was relieved that Katie's previous comments seemed to have been forgotten after her mini-performance. Maybe Mac had forgotten, too. He chanced a look at her, and found her watching him with a devilish glint in her eye. Nope, she had most definitely not forgotten.

"Commander." The Admiral's tone was severe. "I trust you are not corrupting our future leaders?"

"No, Sir." He studiously avoided looking at Mac as he answered.

"Dam- uh," the Admiral looked guiltily at Katie and then at Mac. "Darn straight." Harm suppressed a grin as the Admiral shot an apologetic look at Mac. He thought that only Mac and Harriet had ever been on the receiving end of an apologetic look from the Admiral.

"Katie, you want to sit in my chair?" Chegwidden turned his attention back to the bubbly child.

Katie immediately looked towards her mother for permission.

"Can I go, Mommy? Please!"

"May I," Mac automatically corrected.

"May! May can I please?" Katie asked again, bouncing excitedly in the Admiral's arms.

"Do you remember the rules?" Mac gave her daughter a stern look.

"Yes! I'll behave!" She offered her mother an endearing grin that had Harm ready to give in to any of his daughter's requests. He wondered how come Mac could be immune. Then again, Katie had inherited that grin from Mac.

"Alright then, Sweetie. Be good for the Admiral." Mac tugged lightly on one of Katie's unruly curls, and gave her daughter a smile that had Harm ready to give in to any requests his wife might ever make.

"Yes, Mommy," Katie replied hurriedly before turning back to the Admiral. "Can you make the big chair go 'round and 'round? And can I play with your boats?" Katie glanced at her mother before adding a "Please."

Harm watched as the Admiral took Katie to his office. He then looked at Mac and caught her eye. They shared a warm, contented smile.

He watched as her warm smile turned devious.

"Some great parenting there, Harm," she began in that teasing lilt he knew she reserved for him. "But I think it might be too early to talk about the birds and bees with the little one."

He once again felt the heat rise to his face. "Ma-ac," he began, embarrassed and exasperated. "I didn't … I mean I …" He rubbed his hand behind his neck. "Ma-ac," he finished lamely.

She laughed heartily at his discomfort, and he couldn't help but grin in return. He loved seeing her happy, and he loved even more that the little family they had built together was what made her so happy.

"Come on, Dad." Mac linked her arm through Harm's. "Katie and I are taking you out for lunch."

"Let's stop by my office. I need to grab my cover." He was relieved that she was letting him off rather easily. He wondered how long his co-workers would tease him for.

"Sure thing. And, Harm?" There was a mischievous glint in her eye that made him wish they weren't at the office and he wasn't in uniform.

"Yeah?"

"After dinner tonight, once Katie's in bed; I think I'll be in the mood for some pie." She poked him lightly in the side.

He laughed as he led her towards his office. Katie was definitely going to bed early tonight.

The End.


End file.
